The Machinations of Machismo are soon to become the 10th wonder of the world. I am not afraid to comment on any subject and gladly welcome any intelligent machinations of your own. Its time the world had a taste of true justice, dished out Machismo style.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

I'm BACK with a Vengeance

Alright, now those of you who actually check this site periodically to see what my sadistic mind is up to have been rather upset lately. There has been little to no activity going on and quite frankly its time this site got going again.

I'm tired of the fact that the forty year old wrinkled condom stuffed into John Kerry's wallet has seen more action lately than this website, and that is about to change. For starters:

Candy G-string

Next we'll shake things up with a little bit of humor:

How do you stop a baby from crawling in a circle?

Nail its other hand to the floor.


Alright now if your first thought is "Oh my god that is horrible I think I am going to give that Carlitos from the Cafe a piece of my mind!", listen up! A piece of your mind really isn't all that tasty to begin with, it needs so much salt and no amount of booze can drown out the pale taste of anti-joke hate that it really isn't worth my time. If you can't handle the joke then don't eat veal. just remember, the best joke setup is: "A baby seal walks into a club."

Now that that is out of the way, let me be the first to welcome me back, because after all... no one is quite like me. My insightful blend of cynicism, humor, rage, bold yellow monkeys, bananas, sea urchins, red crayons, sarcasm, a half full can of Dr. Pepper, three chicken wings, honey mustard sauce, infidelity and last but not least an insatiable hunger for all things impunistic.

So if you are one of those people that routinely use "lol" (which looks like a hooker on her back with a wide mouth bass between her legs....) and "sry", "idk" and what have you.... well here's a big LEARN HOW TO SPELL, NO WONDER OUR NATION'S EDUCATION SYSTEM SUCKS, YOU DON'T EVEN PRACTICE THE LANGUAGE RIGHT IN OUR OWN DAMN COUNTRY!!!!!!!!!

This just in....... Gorillas with machine guns are very scary.

And now for the weather.... there is a cold front moving in with a slight chance of stupidity that should hit us just about the time all the drunken college sluts put on their dancing clothes and hit all the clubs, bars and parties and blame every guy they hit on in their drunken stupor for trying to sleep with them when their own boobs were hanging out of their skimpy "fuck me, but respect me, (yeah right)" clothes. You can wear big boots if you want because those are cool and good for everyday use and actually COVER UP YOUR BODY! So what if porn stars are the ones who first brought them into the limelight, at least they get tested for STD's unlike most of the sleep-around girls that I see roaming the ever more chilly campuses nationwide.

In other news... this post is over.

-Chef Carlitos

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home