The Machinations of Machismo are soon to become the 10th wonder of the world. I am not afraid to comment on any subject and gladly welcome any intelligent machinations of your own. Its time the world had a taste of true justice, dished out Machismo style.

Monday, April 05, 2004

As Smart as a Bag of Asshair....

Recently I read something on the internet in the form of a blog that had real merit to it. It was a rant on a blog of a friend of mine, who is quite intelligent mind you, complaining that certain people are idiots. These people, namely the people on the IT staff at Hillsdale College, who were responsible for the great "FTP Blackout of '04", should be ashamed of themselves for this slip up. As funny as it was to read my buds post about the punistic FTP blunder, it was even funnier to learn that someone took offense to said post.

In response to the person that complained that "I am offended!"

You are a fucking moron. What kind of person gets so worked up over someone's opinion on the internet? Are you not smart enough to realize that everything that you read/hear/talk about should be taken with a grain of salt? The fact that someone says something is pure evidence that it is their opinion, not fact. However in your case I beleive I can make an exception and say that I hope you get raped by an elephant. Not only would that be utterly uncomfortable, but if you are female, just think of the cross species "pollentation" that might arise out of that one. Seeing the tears of pain on your face would bring a smile to mine. Speaking of which, you are probably the type of person that will see a dog sitting happily outside its master's house and think "Oh my god, that dog is in peril, I had better go pet it and give it water before it becomes even more uncomfortable sitting outside in mildly cold weather with its warm fur coat. Never mind that it is panting (a definite indication that said dog is hot), it needs some water and if I don't do it, then the dog may surely die!" To this I say, "How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?.......... It depends how hard you throw them."

Or have I offended you yet? If that is the case, I'm going to pee in your ear, perhaps the sterility of my urine will clean out the massive hole between your ears and at least fill it with something. I will now have to make a sacrifice to the god's of impunity just because your feeble ass decided that something that was totally voluntary for you to read offended you. Well I have more news for you, if you don't like it once, don't read it again.

On that note I must say, I am deeply offended by your stupidity and selfishness in thinking that because YOU are offended then the "so-called offensive" material must be removed. Satan forbid the world doesn't revolve around you and your whole ideology. Since I am so deeply offended, I calmly administer this request that you remove yourself from this plane of existence, seeing as your whole being is just another thing that will offend me and my impunistic lifestyle. Which reminds me of another saying: "Which is easier to remove from a dumpster, a ton of bricks or a ton of babies?.....................Babies, because you can use a pitchfork."

The word of the day is: Smegma.

That gives me an idea. To the person that was "offended" by my friends blog, you are hereby known as "Smegma-man". I hope you enjoy your new title. I'm sure you'll have to look it up as I doubt someone of your intellectual wit will have the brain capacity to remember the meaning of the word smegma. My advice to you is to write it down so that everytime someone says it to you, you can remind yourself just what the hell they are talking about.

I think I recognize who this person is, if you are a female.... you must be Susan, right?

Also there is only one thing left to do now.........I'm going to fuck your mother.


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