The Machinations of Machismo are soon to become the 10th wonder of the world. I am not afraid to comment on any subject and gladly welcome any intelligent machinations of your own. Its time the world had a taste of true justice, dished out Machismo style.

Friday, October 31, 2003


There are some people in this world that are just flat out disrespectful assholes. While they can be fun at times, we are tired of your shit. Knock it off or you won't be welcome for long. You should know exactly who I'm talking about. Here's a hint (it's not a lady).

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

My apologies.

My apologies to anyone that was deeply offended by my Cafe, hopefully you'll find the new menu more to your tastes.

Being sued.

You know I recently had a friend receive a threat that he was going to get sued for overposting on a public comment board.....

that's idiotic. I had to laugh at the person that is trying to sue him. Death to skallas.

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

Ladies, Listen Up....

Ladies, here you go. How to decrease your risk of breast cancer.

Monday, October 27, 2003


Bark like a dog, its dog day., best website ever?

It just might be. After seeing this sign, I had to get it in boxer form. So I did. If you were at my fraternity's party on Saturday, most likely you saw me with my pants down, proudly displaying my 'Emergency Cock' in case anybody needed it.

Pleasing the customer is what its all about.

- The Maitre Di

Serving it up fresh since 1982

Sunday, October 26, 2003

The $6 Burger Review

$6 Burger Review, when you really want to know what your burger is all about...
Also the $6 Burger Video Review, "right-click/save target as" to download, or just click to view over the internet.

Enough Said...

Life is a storm my young friend. You will bask in the sunlight one moment, be shattered on the rocks the next. What makes you a man is what you do when that storm comes. You must look into the storm and shout as you did in Rome. "Do your worst, for I will do mine!" Then the Fates will know you as we know you, as Carlitos, the man.

Ally we like you.

Ally we still like you. :).

Saturday, October 25, 2003

Something that bugs me...

Do you want to know something that bugs me... when friends of mine don't bother to say goodbye at all. Just knowing I'm important enough to get a "goodbye" or a hug makes me feel so much better. On the contrary, when one of my good friends leaves without saying goodbye, I don't feel to important at all. Its also annoying when people are in the area I'm in, like the same building, and don't bother (or seem to bother) to stop by or see if I'm there. That always makes me feel like shit on the bottom of a shoe. Well there is my deep emotional blurb for the day, goodnight friends. To my best friends, you know who you are.

Friday, October 24, 2003

The Maitre Di is in the hizzouse!

That's right bitches and pimps, I am in the fuckin hizzouze. Yours truly, aka The Maitre Di, aka the Bringer of Doom, aka You Will Know Me By The Trail of Dead, aka Goatboy, aka Ghostfacethrilla, is here for your enjoyment, entertainment, and most of all, excoriation. If you don't know what excoriation means, then you'll learn, you stupid worthless fucking piece of amphibian shit. I hope you choke on a two-way dildo and die, you worthless twat.

Much Love,

The Maitre Di

Thursday, October 23, 2003

Babaganoosh.... God Help Us

Obviously some people didn't read the tagline.

To this I say.... Pickled Pumpkin Eaters.

Pickled Pumpkin Eaters.... says it all.

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

As of Late...

As of late it would seem that my mood online has been somewhat cranky/spiteful over the last day or two. I really have no idea the relevance this has on any aspect in my life. However it would seem that something has been bothering me. What, praytell? I only hope that I can answer this for myself in the next coming days. Perhaps it has something to do with school and that classes will be classes and when you realize you need to do better, it is like realizing that you have to actually do some damn hard work and suck it up until winter break arrives.

Speaking of winter break, the Formal Dress New Years Eve Party at my place should be quite the social gathering of my esteemed colleagues. Now didn't that sound snazzy and proper, gives me a warm fuzzy inside.

Sightings Of Babaganoosh

Here is an article that seems to remind me of Babaganoosh. Why don't you head there and see if you can't find the exact passage that refers to Babaganoosh.

Credit Card Companies: How To Stick It To Them

Now some of you may have heard of this method before, and some of you may not have. But there are ways that you can annoy credit card companies just as much as they annoy you (if not more). For those of you who want to know the secret, please enter the sacred realm of "The Pig Monkey Men School of Chaos"

However for those of you who think that I am just full of nothing but wild sea monkey manure, please escort yourselves here.

Ok, so the here. link didn't work, but then again you probably didn't notice what website/url it was linked to now did you.

To All Who Qualify.... Stupid People Especially

There are some things that we just don't do at the movies kids, we just don't. Click here for more details.

Master Redeemer

Moral: Don't shoot the Sheriff. Master Redeemer

TMNT Lives Again

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are back, but not better than ever. Oh well I still think the game is worth a peek. Who knows, maybe its a game for hardcore TMNT fans. Check out all the juicy info here at the Gamespot.

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

Deez Nuts

"I don't even have an office chair anymore, I just sit around on my nuts. People come over to my house and they think I'm just sitting on a giant flesh colored bean bag. I once took a bullet right in the cojones just to prove how tough I am, but the bullet ricocheted off of a pube and shot some kid in the face. I almost felt sorry for the kid, but he had it coming. Nobody can step to my nuts. My ex-girlfriend was bitching at me one day, so I tossed my nuts at her. BAM. Knocked the bitch out cold. The best teabagging she ever received, and I wasn't even trying. "

Sponsor A Vegetarian

Ever get tired of someone saying they are a vegetarian and eating meat is either a) Gross or b) Morally Wrong. Well have no fear, the new "Sponsor a Vegetarian" plan will be the meat lovers saving grace! More details found here.

A New Take On Life

Here is a genuine article I had the priviledge of reading recently. Like it or not, the guy has a point. Check it out here.

Monday, October 20, 2003

Swedish Bachelor Party

Check out this lovely adventure of a party, a Swedish Bachelor party.

The Beer Poem

The Icehouse was rockin’
Cause the Schlitz were all there,
Guys were poppin’ Silver Bullets,
There was Busch in the air,

While Labatt's Blue a Canadian,
Jennie creamed up her twat,
Gave Southern Comfort to Samual Addams,
While Molson licked her golden spot,

Pabst put up a Blue Ribbon,
And said we’ll have a competition,
To see which ladies honey brown,
Is truly fuckin’ bitchin’,

Killian read the results,
Miss Miller won,
We laughed,
But when she spread her legs,
We all felt the Genuine Draft,

The orgy that followed was a real Wild Turkey,
I was Smirnoff the juice from my little beef jerky,

Johnny Walker blacked out
And woke up to find,
Pete’s wicked Moose Head,
Shoved up in his behind,

Foster had a Spanish Bitch,
But when he went to Ida,
He found her way to salty,
Her name was Margarita,

St. Paulie’s Girl was on the floor,
Her snatch spilled to the brim,
Bud yelled out, “If her twat can’t hold it…,
I bet her Heineken.”,

And next to her lay Old Milwaukee,
His face down in some piss,
Gurgling like a pig,
It just doesn’t get any better than this,

So when you want a little wide mouth,
And your bruin needs some head,
Have an Amstel Light the sign that hangs above my bed,

Liquor in the front,
Poker in the rear,
Suck my fuckin’ dick bitch,
And spit it in my beer!

Sunday, October 19, 2003

Some people...

Some stuff is just too funny. If you whined about that, well didn't you deserve to be here in the first place?

Life is crazy!

Mooooo. There I said it. You have your proof.

Gamespot, go there, it's a great time!